Mainline Mayhem

HGMAINLINE MAYHEM
Words and Music by
Scott Pittman, Peter Bufano, Adam Kelley
and
Billy Haslam

(G)

When Billy was a young boy, he was just like all the other boys.
He'd go to school, do his chores, and afterwards he'd play with his toys.
He had a big, black engine with a bell and a light on the front.
It was a super-fast, die-cast, kick-ass locomotive train.         When it came around the junction, he had a favorite function squishing that he stole from his sister while she was playing twister in the hall.
He had a big, black engine with a bell and a light and a coal car riding behind. It was a super-fast, die-cast, kick-ass locomotive train.
                                             F
Now Billy's grown up, his dream's come true, 
he's an engineer, and he drives that train real fast. 
Coming down the main line, he had a flashback into his past.
                                      OH NO!
...The worker on the track looked just like a Pissing Pammy doll...
...Full speed ahead, he knew he was as good as dead...
...He tried to flip the switcher. It didn't work. " Oh, what a pisser!!! "
The whole town was around. He had to cover ground. 
No room for error today. He had to make a getaway.
He had a big, black engine with a bell and a light and a coal car and a flatbed riding behind. It was a super-fast, die-cast, kick-ass locomotive train.
Eight-hundred cops chased him through nine-hundred states.
They tried to head him off but they were always late.
He had a big, black engine with a bell and a light and a coal car and a flatbed and a piggyback riding behind.It was a super-fast, die-cast,kick-ass locomotive train.
(Said the police guy),"We tried every trick in the book...
even the ol' rabbit out of the kitchen sink...BUT WAIT!!!"
They called Billys mom in from Pocatello, Idaho.
She didn't want to come, but they made her go.
Stop the train; she knew she could.
"Do your chores cause you know you should."
The mighty engine stoped with only inches to spare.
Billy stuck out his head, and he said,
                    " Fuck that , that's queer. "
He had a big black engine with a bell and a light and a coal car and a flatbed and a piggyback and a container and a coach and a tanker and a __HGFGJ_____ and a refrigerator car and a corn syrup car and an obtruse caboose riding behind.....
On a super-fast, die-cast, kick-ass locomotive train.

dolls